Okay blah blah blah that subject that i was just about to blog on was boring, so lets completely change the topic of this blog post.
This November its novel writing month where it challenges you to write a 50,000 word novel. I have heard about it in the past and seen participates in it writing furiously. So i want to challenge myself to do the same. Oh boy i am feeling really good about this. My fingers are just itching to fly across my keyboard at speeds they've never traveled at before. I am ready to take on this challenge.
I feel my competitive self surfacing. I am going to make some sort of a game plan and i am going to make sure i do this. I have this blog post now to make sure that i am going to do this. So i can't back out, and please DON'T LET ME!
Recently over the summer i wrote a story that has a 14,954 word count (i just checked). It took me about two or three days to get up to that because i was just flying. So if i can write about a third of the total 50000 word requirement in three summer days, i can definitely find every possible moment of free time that i was going to use watching america's next top model and write my freaking brains out.
I was telling myself, Amy you don't have the time, you are so busy with work and school and BLAH BLAH BLAH. Well what makes me think that next november when i will be attending college that my life will be any less hectic? Lets get over that, if i want to do this i have to just do it. I am excited! i may cheat a little i.e working out the plot a little bit before november, but i am serious about this.
50000 words baby! don't let me not do this. And if i don't make it, i will buy whipped cream and fill a whole pie tin with it and i will give you special permission to stuff that pie tin in my face. So what do you say, will you help me??
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
"Walk in someone elses shoes..." blah blah cliche cliche blah
Yes i am addressing this topic. Perhaps I am tackling it because just today I stopped in the middle of the hall, and started talking to a someone i don't normally chat with and within two seconds of our greeting i dived into this deep topic. I think she was a bit taken aback by my offhand conversation but I think I just needed to reason this out outloud, and it would have been weird if i started talking to my self.
So right in the middle of a crowded hallway with people rushing by with an intense desire to get to class and to gobble some food down all around us I stopped and had an intellectual conversation( i love having these!) with my friend, Amelia. It didn't last very long, about two minutes, but that's all that was necessary.
You could say it was an Ah ha! moment or one of those moments when you have an oddly hovering light bulb over your head that clicks on. It would have been appropiate for me to shout "Eureka!" (Don't tell anyone but I have secretly wanted to say this ever since i watched these science Eureka videos in elementary, oh the affect elementary has on our lives...) This is probably how the person that made that cliched phrase felt when he thought it up.
Not everyone can actually begin to understand this trite phrase until their remove the selfish veil that shrouds their vision. And everyone has it. Everyone is so absorbed in their own lives and struggles that they hardly ever think about someone else's needs. Well at least this is how i basically am. I just sit their and pity my self and feel so sorry about my lives struggles.
Well today again I was contemplating the deep dark depths of my heart and my inner demons, when I realized, EVERYONE DOES THIS! They think about whatever is going on in their lives. And this is where the epiphany came, everyone has struggles but they don't wear them on their sleeve, so i can't see what they are. Although there are select few people i have encountered that actually do shout out their problems in order to gain sympathy, but that's a subject for a different time. This is where I realized that everyone has huge problems and then I realized I want to know truly what others have gone through. What parts of their lives are they keeping hidden down in a cage because they don't want to face them?
What have they gone through to make them the way that they are? If they are goth, why? If they are so freakin' happy all the time, why are they that way?
Its so interesting, I thought to myself. If I have gone through this and this and this, what have they been through? I can't say that I have had a harder life than the person sitting right next to me, no matter how they might seem. I shouldn't even compare my life to others because really why does it matter?
Its not like there is some competition to see who has the crappier life, and if their is, that is one competition I hope to lose. So that kind of bugs me and at the same time it doesn't when people are like "You don't know what I've been through." Really it depends on how much its used. If its used in moderation i think its okay. Everyone wants a little sympathy. But don't compare your life to mine and say that I've had it easier.
Because you can't know what I've been through, and I don't know what you've been through, so truce? BUT, give me a little slack and sympathy I can't always hold it all together.
Wow I am just ramblings all over the place, I hope it makes some sort of sense. I don't know half of want I mean and what I'm saying, I am just putting my fingers to the keyboard and letting them run.
I need to not be so selfish, you need to not be so selfish, and we all need to be a bit more understanding of the other. When someone needs some coddling, hold them to you shoulder and stroke their hair.
It seems to be a roundabout way through stuff I already knew to get to the meaty thoughts here. But this has also been a roundabout way to get to what I had intentionally got on the computer to discuss here.
Two words: counselors and office aids. WOW. These seems two of the least sympathetic species at school. I'm going to explain to you my predicament. Over the weekend i foolishly stayed up late(try 3am) with my rowdy siblings and brother-in-law in two consecutive nights. With an abnormal sleep schedule already in the bag, i had to go to work on monday from 3-11:15. Yes try waking up for school the next day and being in a good mood. Actually try even waking up, its difficult.
So going to school the next day was more than something I could comprehend, and staying there for the whole day was even more impossible. Laughable even. So seminary conveniently being fourth period I decided to skip. I went into the building like a good little girl to figure out how to get checked out so it would be excused or whatever and the office person was so mean.
She was immediately assuming I was skipping because I "just didn't want to be there." She said it would be okay if i was sick or something. Well let me tell you something lady, I may not have been physically sick, but I was mentally unstable!!!! She kept trying to guilt me into staying saying "Is it worth it?" So i put up my defense which is normally silence. I contemplated shouting to her my day yesterday, but decided against and with a few dramatic parting words, (I'm not going to explain to you my life) I swiftly left the building.
So right in the middle of a crowded hallway with people rushing by with an intense desire to get to class and to gobble some food down all around us I stopped and had an intellectual conversation( i love having these!) with my friend, Amelia. It didn't last very long, about two minutes, but that's all that was necessary.
You could say it was an Ah ha! moment or one of those moments when you have an oddly hovering light bulb over your head that clicks on. It would have been appropiate for me to shout "Eureka!" (Don't tell anyone but I have secretly wanted to say this ever since i watched these science Eureka videos in elementary, oh the affect elementary has on our lives...) This is probably how the person that made that cliched phrase felt when he thought it up.
Not everyone can actually begin to understand this trite phrase until their remove the selfish veil that shrouds their vision. And everyone has it. Everyone is so absorbed in their own lives and struggles that they hardly ever think about someone else's needs. Well at least this is how i basically am. I just sit their and pity my self and feel so sorry about my lives struggles.
Well today again I was contemplating the deep dark depths of my heart and my inner demons, when I realized, EVERYONE DOES THIS! They think about whatever is going on in their lives. And this is where the epiphany came, everyone has struggles but they don't wear them on their sleeve, so i can't see what they are. Although there are select few people i have encountered that actually do shout out their problems in order to gain sympathy, but that's a subject for a different time. This is where I realized that everyone has huge problems and then I realized I want to know truly what others have gone through. What parts of their lives are they keeping hidden down in a cage because they don't want to face them?
What have they gone through to make them the way that they are? If they are goth, why? If they are so freakin' happy all the time, why are they that way?
Its so interesting, I thought to myself. If I have gone through this and this and this, what have they been through? I can't say that I have had a harder life than the person sitting right next to me, no matter how they might seem. I shouldn't even compare my life to others because really why does it matter?
Its not like there is some competition to see who has the crappier life, and if their is, that is one competition I hope to lose. So that kind of bugs me and at the same time it doesn't when people are like "You don't know what I've been through." Really it depends on how much its used. If its used in moderation i think its okay. Everyone wants a little sympathy. But don't compare your life to mine and say that I've had it easier.
Because you can't know what I've been through, and I don't know what you've been through, so truce? BUT, give me a little slack and sympathy I can't always hold it all together.
Wow I am just ramblings all over the place, I hope it makes some sort of sense. I don't know half of want I mean and what I'm saying, I am just putting my fingers to the keyboard and letting them run.
I need to not be so selfish, you need to not be so selfish, and we all need to be a bit more understanding of the other. When someone needs some coddling, hold them to you shoulder and stroke their hair.
It seems to be a roundabout way through stuff I already knew to get to the meaty thoughts here. But this has also been a roundabout way to get to what I had intentionally got on the computer to discuss here.
Two words: counselors and office aids. WOW. These seems two of the least sympathetic species at school. I'm going to explain to you my predicament. Over the weekend i foolishly stayed up late(try 3am) with my rowdy siblings and brother-in-law in two consecutive nights. With an abnormal sleep schedule already in the bag, i had to go to work on monday from 3-11:15. Yes try waking up for school the next day and being in a good mood. Actually try even waking up, its difficult.
So going to school the next day was more than something I could comprehend, and staying there for the whole day was even more impossible. Laughable even. So seminary conveniently being fourth period I decided to skip. I went into the building like a good little girl to figure out how to get checked out so it would be excused or whatever and the office person was so mean.
She was immediately assuming I was skipping because I "just didn't want to be there." She said it would be okay if i was sick or something. Well let me tell you something lady, I may not have been physically sick, but I was mentally unstable!!!! She kept trying to guilt me into staying saying "Is it worth it?" So i put up my defense which is normally silence. I contemplated shouting to her my day yesterday, but decided against and with a few dramatic parting words, (I'm not going to explain to you my life) I swiftly left the building.
Friday, October 1, 2010
No school??
I really feel quite stupid. So today there was no school and it was wonderful and glorious and i slept in til eleven and did whatever my heart desired. But basically yesterday i was still geared up to go to school today.
I hung out with my friend Jessica and did my homework while i was there, naturally because i had school the next day. We wanted to watch letters to Juliet and she said that we weren't going to watch it until her mom got home (around 9:15). I was a bit frustrated because it was a school night! i couldn't be over there later than 10:30.
Just a passing question i asked what she was doing tomorrow and the confusion ensued.
"What are you doing tomorrow? Cause i was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and Katie."
"Oh, well tomorrow i'm going to go to nightmare on thirteenth to find some props, probably in the morning."
"Oh! thats fun, but wait when are you going?"
"In the morning."
"What? So you're skipping school." I am utterly confused by this point.
"No, Amy we don't have school tomorrow."
I give a look of utter astonishment.
"Didn't you know that?"
"Uh no! Why do you think i was doing my homework!"
"Yeah i did think that was a bit weird..."
"Jessica! i had the alarm on my phone on! i Would have gone to school tomorrow if you hadn't told me!"
And thus i was befuddled for the rest of the night. I didn't believe her at first, so i had to consult a school calendar just to be sure. I just had a hard time getting out of that mindset that there was no school tomorrow. It felt so odd, you know that feeling where you believe something, and then somebody crushes everything you have ever known?? That's how it felt last night. Its like when you think its a Thursday, and its really a Friday.
Me and Jessica decided that i would have gone to school tomorrow and wouldn't have realized that there was no school until second period, because i have study hall first. And that would have been embarrassing.
And you see the thing is, is that everything pointed to there being no school on friday, but i never made the connection. I even remember the signs.
#1 there were only food options put up until thursday. I reasoned that perhaps they just hadn't decided on what they were going to serve on Friday yet.
#2 in chemistry my teacher said on Wednesday "have a good weekend!" i laughed in my head at her, she was thoroughly confused because we were going to see her on Friday.
#3 parent teacher conferences were going on, the reason for this glorious little break
#4 jessica asked to hangout which she normally doesn't ask me to on school nights
#5 this guy named nathan(i don't feel like explaining his relation to my life or jessicas) asked if i was going to hang out with jessica today/ this weekend, and i said "don't you mean on Friday?" and he seemed a bit confused and said "oh sure." or something to that affect.
haha wow i feel so dumb. I even remember thinking, oh! i don't think we have school this friday, but i clearly put that thought out of my head. Lets hope that the next time we don't have school, somebody tells me so i don't actually end up going to school on accident!
I hung out with my friend Jessica and did my homework while i was there, naturally because i had school the next day. We wanted to watch letters to Juliet and she said that we weren't going to watch it until her mom got home (around 9:15). I was a bit frustrated because it was a school night! i couldn't be over there later than 10:30.
Just a passing question i asked what she was doing tomorrow and the confusion ensued.
"What are you doing tomorrow? Cause i was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and Katie."
"Oh, well tomorrow i'm going to go to nightmare on thirteenth to find some props, probably in the morning."
"Oh! thats fun, but wait when are you going?"
"In the morning."
"What? So you're skipping school." I am utterly confused by this point.
"No, Amy we don't have school tomorrow."
I give a look of utter astonishment.
"Didn't you know that?"
"Uh no! Why do you think i was doing my homework!"
"Yeah i did think that was a bit weird..."
"Jessica! i had the alarm on my phone on! i Would have gone to school tomorrow if you hadn't told me!"
And thus i was befuddled for the rest of the night. I didn't believe her at first, so i had to consult a school calendar just to be sure. I just had a hard time getting out of that mindset that there was no school tomorrow. It felt so odd, you know that feeling where you believe something, and then somebody crushes everything you have ever known?? That's how it felt last night. Its like when you think its a Thursday, and its really a Friday.
Me and Jessica decided that i would have gone to school tomorrow and wouldn't have realized that there was no school until second period, because i have study hall first. And that would have been embarrassing.
And you see the thing is, is that everything pointed to there being no school on friday, but i never made the connection. I even remember the signs.
#1 there were only food options put up until thursday. I reasoned that perhaps they just hadn't decided on what they were going to serve on Friday yet.
#2 in chemistry my teacher said on Wednesday "have a good weekend!" i laughed in my head at her, she was thoroughly confused because we were going to see her on Friday.
#3 parent teacher conferences were going on, the reason for this glorious little break
#4 jessica asked to hangout which she normally doesn't ask me to on school nights
#5 this guy named nathan(i don't feel like explaining his relation to my life or jessicas) asked if i was going to hang out with jessica today/ this weekend, and i said "don't you mean on Friday?" and he seemed a bit confused and said "oh sure." or something to that affect.
haha wow i feel so dumb. I even remember thinking, oh! i don't think we have school this friday, but i clearly put that thought out of my head. Lets hope that the next time we don't have school, somebody tells me so i don't actually end up going to school on accident!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Drama Queen
I've always prided myself with thinking that i'm not a drama queen. So I am a mostly chilled out, relaxed person that doesn't get angry very easily. At least that's what i like to think i am.
The other day i was driving home from the movies and chatting with my family. Certain subjects arose and i was venting about dramatic people and dramatic situations that i didn't want to deal with. I made it clear how dramatic said person was compared to my mellow self.
Then my sister SO rudely made the generalization that "All teenagers are dramatic." I came unglued because I AM NOT DRAMATIC. aha. Um but i guess my behavior speaks otherwise right? Me Yelling at my sister that i do not act dramaticly.
But i have a pretty good track record, i haven't gotten in a fight with any of my friends since 8th grade! Thats like three years of awesome friendship! So naturally i assumed that i was not a drama queen. Plus i'm non-confrontational.
I act cordial to my friends, i vent all my angers to my family. Except the occasional outburst of "That girl, i just, can't handle ....." to my friends.
But apparently i am a closet drama queen. And i didn't realize this until today. I went to school this morning for the infamous picture day. I had woken up SO early and gotten ready and everything for some incompetent fools to take a picture of me. I go to school get my picture taken, look at it and frown. I get my school ID two minutes later and now not just my face is frowning, but my whole demeanor. Every year i sorta hate my school picture. But this years was ESPECIALLY bad.
So i complain to my mom about it. But i need back up support about my freakin school picture(its really not even a big deal) so i run over to my friends house. And i actually start to cry. Not just cry, more like heaving sobs. WHAT THE HECK? its just a picture why do i even care? I guess i was just fed up with all the long years of ugly school pictures.
And after this is when i realized i may be a Bit of a drama queen.
The other day i was driving home from the movies and chatting with my family. Certain subjects arose and i was venting about dramatic people and dramatic situations that i didn't want to deal with. I made it clear how dramatic said person was compared to my mellow self.
Then my sister SO rudely made the generalization that "All teenagers are dramatic." I came unglued because I AM NOT DRAMATIC. aha. Um but i guess my behavior speaks otherwise right? Me Yelling at my sister that i do not act dramaticly.
But i have a pretty good track record, i haven't gotten in a fight with any of my friends since 8th grade! Thats like three years of awesome friendship! So naturally i assumed that i was not a drama queen. Plus i'm non-confrontational.
I act cordial to my friends, i vent all my angers to my family. Except the occasional outburst of "That girl, i just, can't handle ....." to my friends.
But apparently i am a closet drama queen. And i didn't realize this until today. I went to school this morning for the infamous picture day. I had woken up SO early and gotten ready and everything for some incompetent fools to take a picture of me. I go to school get my picture taken, look at it and frown. I get my school ID two minutes later and now not just my face is frowning, but my whole demeanor. Every year i sorta hate my school picture. But this years was ESPECIALLY bad.
So i complain to my mom about it. But i need back up support about my freakin school picture(its really not even a big deal) so i run over to my friends house. And i actually start to cry. Not just cry, more like heaving sobs. WHAT THE HECK? its just a picture why do i even care? I guess i was just fed up with all the long years of ugly school pictures.
And after this is when i realized i may be a Bit of a drama queen.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
A road trip sounds fun right? Well this trek home is such suckage. I even have my brothers calloused hairy nasty foot in my face to top it all off! Well thank you for listening to me complain farewell and adeiu
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Music
I am so addicted to music it's pathetic. Even my mom will give me scornful looks and comments when i ask for an mp3 player for birthday, she says " you want another one of THOSE," and im like well yeah cause i have broken/lost all of my others ones...
i can never live one day in my life without listening to music! i wake in the morning and as i get ready i turn on my cd player, i walk to class listening to my mp3 player, i bring headphones so i can listen to music in classes where i have computers in them, i listen to pandora quite frequently, i listen to music while doing homework, reading, or just when i'm bored, some of the only things people know about me is that i always have earphones in my ears, i have owned 4 musical devices at one time, i break earphones about once every month, and i think actually i'm feeling the effects of all this listening to music i think i'm losing my hearing, since at the moment i am depraved of a mp3 player i am realizing how helpless my life is without music.
mowing the lawn used to be a bearable task due to the constant presence of music in my ears, but with my mp3 players broken/ stolen(grrr) i have to put up with a walkman. That's right, when you tip a walkman to the side or just move it around what does it do? it doesn't work and skips, so how would you suggest i would listen to music while constantly moving mowing the lawn? very carefully, my own desperation for music allows me to conquer this seemingly impossible task of listening to a walkman while moving and while it's tipped on its side. tasks that may seem unconquerable to the average unmusiclistening american, i make possible.
so while we are discussing my amazing skills of using a walkman as a source of music while i mow the lawn, shall we discuss the amazing properties of music?
it makes any impossible task possible,
i makes awkward silences no longer awkward!(this is an important one)
it can be a bonding times between fellow comrades
musical taste can actually make you friends,/ strengthen a relationships ( when you give me a burned cd, you have moved from the acquantence zone to being my best friend)
it can help you exercise! seriously some of the hardest runs of my life were when i was running without music.
life is just better with music! seriously trust me, and if you don't like music you suck rocks!
i can never live one day in my life without listening to music! i wake in the morning and as i get ready i turn on my cd player, i walk to class listening to my mp3 player, i bring headphones so i can listen to music in classes where i have computers in them, i listen to pandora quite frequently, i listen to music while doing homework, reading, or just when i'm bored, some of the only things people know about me is that i always have earphones in my ears, i have owned 4 musical devices at one time, i break earphones about once every month, and i think actually i'm feeling the effects of all this listening to music i think i'm losing my hearing, since at the moment i am depraved of a mp3 player i am realizing how helpless my life is without music.
mowing the lawn used to be a bearable task due to the constant presence of music in my ears, but with my mp3 players broken/ stolen(grrr) i have to put up with a walkman. That's right, when you tip a walkman to the side or just move it around what does it do? it doesn't work and skips, so how would you suggest i would listen to music while constantly moving mowing the lawn? very carefully, my own desperation for music allows me to conquer this seemingly impossible task of listening to a walkman while moving and while it's tipped on its side. tasks that may seem unconquerable to the average unmusiclistening american, i make possible.
so while we are discussing my amazing skills of using a walkman as a source of music while i mow the lawn, shall we discuss the amazing properties of music?
it makes any impossible task possible,
i makes awkward silences no longer awkward!(this is an important one)
it can be a bonding times between fellow comrades
musical taste can actually make you friends,/ strengthen a relationships ( when you give me a burned cd, you have moved from the acquantence zone to being my best friend)
it can help you exercise! seriously some of the hardest runs of my life were when i was running without music.
life is just better with music! seriously trust me, and if you don't like music you suck rocks!
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